so this is short. its funny, but short.
you know, i have a husband, right?
you know, i have a husband, right?
well that "said" husband gets a yearly golf trip up north. and undoubtedly, something ALWAYS happens to me during this time... basement/backyard flood, and other fiascoes of the like.
so far, this year........smOOth sailing.
a little hitch last night, when my 3 year old decided to dance around while playing wii.... even with my screams of "encouragement" to get his little a$$ into the bathroom to go peepee... (i didn't say a$$, just thought it)
he "claimed" that he didn't have to go. I don't know if becoming a mother who's potty trained children makes you able to smell pee and poop like killer bees can smell fear... but even with all of his denial. I knew. Yes..... I knew.
got them ready for bed. fought back and forth for them to not sleep on the floor in a pile of toys, to get out of braden's bed and into your own beds, to stop fighting over toys and go to sleep..... and then the scream......
MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
"Soren peed on the floor!!"
i walk into the room with him standing with one leg on the second rung of the ladder, the other dangling, the first step christened like a ship on its maiden voyage, and the puddle.
oh yes... there was a puddle.
Then the mom came out............"WHYYYYYYYYYYY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM? YOU ARE A BIG BOY NOW! YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO POTTY! I TOLD YOU TO GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
so i have to find some kind of towel to sop this up. why it never hit me to use the "shamwow" that i got brian as a joke for christmas....... that's my new infomercial.
"are you gettin this camera guy? even pee dropped from two rungs up a ladder is picked up in a flash with the shamwow!!"
i'm not sure vince will be so quick to leave his hooker abuse to come and do an infomercial in front of my kids bunkbeds.
so i got him new underwear, new pjs... cleaned up the mess, mumbled "sweet nothings" under my breath, and told them to go to sleep....
i finish out today, smooth again.
go to wash my poison ivy.. (yes, i know-- what else should i have to deal with this week alone?) with fels-naptha soap... some ancient thing that i had never heard of, but appearantly dries up poison ivy. hang up the washcloth in the tub, and move the curtain back to hang up a towel when i'm suprised with the motherload.
kitty litter.......... only it ain't litter. it's whats supposed to be IN the litter, hidden by my shower curtain.
FABULOUS.
so i get to be mommy-with-wadded-up-toilet-paper-pooper-scooper tonight..... straight into the toilet. apparently the basement door musta been shit, uh...i mean shut, so the cat couldnt get go the litter box to do his bizznizz....
i'm serious when i say.......
if there is one more pee and/or poop incident in this house this week.....................
you'll probably get another blog, i mean... what can i do? call cps on myself so i have no kids til brian gets home????
hmmm.... ;)
and ok, maybe it wasn't so short. sue me!
got them ready for bed. fought back and forth for them to not sleep on the floor in a pile of toys, to get out of braden's bed and into your own beds, to stop fighting over toys and go to sleep..... and then the scream......
MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
"Soren peed on the floor!!"
i walk into the room with him standing with one leg on the second rung of the ladder, the other dangling, the first step christened like a ship on its maiden voyage, and the puddle.
oh yes... there was a puddle.
Then the mom came out............"WHYYYYYYYYYYY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM? YOU ARE A BIG BOY NOW! YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO POTTY! I TOLD YOU TO GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
so i have to find some kind of towel to sop this up. why it never hit me to use the "shamwow" that i got brian as a joke for christmas....... that's my new infomercial.
"are you gettin this camera guy? even pee dropped from two rungs up a ladder is picked up in a flash with the shamwow!!"
i'm not sure vince will be so quick to leave his hooker abuse to come and do an infomercial in front of my kids bunkbeds.
so i got him new underwear, new pjs... cleaned up the mess, mumbled "sweet nothings" under my breath, and told them to go to sleep....
i finish out today, smooth again.
go to wash my poison ivy.. (yes, i know-- what else should i have to deal with this week alone?) with fels-naptha soap... some ancient thing that i had never heard of, but appearantly dries up poison ivy. hang up the washcloth in the tub, and move the curtain back to hang up a towel when i'm suprised with the motherload.
kitty litter.......... only it ain't litter. it's whats supposed to be IN the litter, hidden by my shower curtain.
FABULOUS.
so i get to be mommy-with-wadded-up-toilet-paper-pooper-scooper tonight..... straight into the toilet. apparently the basement door musta been shit, uh...i mean shut, so the cat couldnt get go the litter box to do his bizznizz....
i'm serious when i say.......
if there is one more pee and/or poop incident in this house this week.....................
you'll probably get another blog, i mean... what can i do? call cps on myself so i have no kids til brian gets home????
hmmm.... ;)
and ok, maybe it wasn't so short. sue me!
